Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Lesbian Vampire Killers - just when you think it couldn't get any worse

Lesbian+Vampire+KillersI have a soft spot for movies. Well, mainly because there's really nothing to occupy my weekends back home and the movie tickets are relatively cheap.

Movies that I fancy include cheesy film flicks by Jacky Chan, Stephen Chow and homegrown director Jack Neo. Perhaps not so much for Jack Neo's movies as they are more of social commentary. It's like paying for a movie ticket to watch Eastenders.

Where was I? Oh, cheesy film flicks. It's absolutely fascinating how the land that brought us Lawrence of Arabia (1962), Great Expectations (1946), Trainspotting (1996) and the entire series of James Bond and Harry Potter, also produces the likes of Lesbian Vampires Killers.

Yep, you heard that right. Let us just say that again… "Lesbian Vampires Killers". I like the ring to that.

Anyway, the show is exactly as the title says. Essentially, some lesbian vampires are terrorizing a Welsh town snatching only women (we wonder why). So the townfolks, consisting of the the remaining men, decided to send two chaps as a sacrifice to appease these vampires.

The newspapers had a field day reviewing the movie (Source: Wikipedia) when it premiered in London two weeks back. Honestly, having looked at what they have to say about Lesbian Vampires Killers, I wonder how they could sit through the entire session.

The Times: "profoundly awful", "appalling waste of a perfectly decent title"

Daily Express: "badly written and hastily executed", "takes all the easy options of bad taste, bosoms and body fluids"

The Guardian: "mostly pretty awful, but there are one or two crass laughs."

That reminds me of those a dime a dozen films that plagued the Hong Kong movie industry in 80s and 90s. Are there any memorable crass and badly produced movies, which in your opinion, should have gone straight to video/DVD?

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12 comments:

Ane Fallarme said...

Is this movie an indie film? Because I happen to like British made films, like Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz, if this movie is anything like that, I'd probably like it, cheesy or not.. :) sometimes movie critics are too hard on movies like these, but then some of them are not as bad as they say it is...

Martin In Bulgaria said...

Now being a film buff this film is no skin off my nose, but somehow there are film fans who will hate it and those who will love it. Sometimes bad films do quite well becuase they are so bad I find that rather queer! And rather approiately put in terms of this film's motive.

LadyBanana said...

Just the title is ridiculous enough!

Cashmere said...

I agree with LadyBanana.. The title sounds cheesy to me..lol! Oh and anyway, sometimes you can't believe the movie critics.. Different people have different opinions and taste.. That's why I don't trust movie critics.. hah! ;P

*lynne* said...

Heehehe I read the title to mean vampire hunters who are lesbians (i.e. not hunters of lesbian vampires). Then I wondered why the poster had two guys. Then the lightbulb went off, LoL!

Dutchie said...

There r indeed lots of trash movies being made that would bore us out of our minds. What a waste of those millions !

Films that dont make the grade r immediately slotted into DVD's when it would be better to just incinerate them bec unsuspecting viewers would be paying for a worthless piece of merchandise. We used to buy them n everytime it's a big disappointment until we stop looking at them in the shops.

Going to the movies used to be a fun outing. Since the arrival of our satellite TV, films r shown there (albeit 2yrs after screening), so we hv stopped going to the cinema. Good thing abt home movies r the option of zapping to another channel when a film is too boring !

Martyn said...

The Lesbian Vampire Killers - My review is short and simple "The movie sucks."

kruel74 said...

In my youth I thought Stephen Chow movies were rubbish while my Uni mates loved them, then came Shaolin Soccer n Kung Fu Hustle, then I saw him as a genius. Same like Hot Fuzz n Shaun of the Dead like Ane said, they are gems as ridiculous as they may be. How about those Monty Phython?

52 Faces said...

This is amazing. lolol

And I love Steven Chow movies. Even though I can't speak Cantonese and I'm told it's even funnier in Canto than Mandarin.

yoongz said...

i have my fair share of cheesy film favs & i like vampire stories but even i would stop short at Lesbian Vampire Killers - hahhaaa ;p

Digital Polaroids said...

Hahhahahahhaha!

::karinuslai:: said...

knowing james corden of gavin and stacey fame i have to wonder if it isn't some kind of grand spoof flick on the level of shaun of the dead - he's not exactly a guy to deliberately go out and do crap if he didn't intend for it to be crap... though if the Times calls it a waste of time then it probably is...